Centerstage - Chicago's Original City Guide

Anna,

~Flag Pole Sags

Dear Flag Pole Sags,

Are you telling me you're not one of those eternally hard, Voltron-penis types? Because you should definitely ask for your money back, if that's the case. There are any number of things that could cause your stiffy to wilt. A short list includes: stress, mental anxiety, too much masturbation, watching "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" and substance abuse. You've probably heard this before, from McCain's campaign slogans, but often times, too much emphasis is placed on the Almighty Erection, and not enough on what feels good. Unlike women, who can pretty much fake their way from arousal to orgasm, men have very visual signals of arousal. And we can feel slighted when faced with a bout of lap taffy, even if we know that we have nothing to do with it. The most important thing is not to put pressure on yourself, and from your description, I'd say it's probably in your head, especially if you are still having mind-popping orgasms.

Of course it'd be easy for me to say just don't worry about it and leave it at that, but Centerstage said they'd take away my mini-bar if I don't elaborate. So, back to your beef bayonet. Like I said a while ago, many people get off just as much from pleasuring others as they do being pleased, and you seem to be of the same party. This means you could probably benefit from more sensory stimulation to distract you from thinking too much. Position yourself so you can touch your wife at the same time she's going down on you. You can also keep your mind preoccupied by giving her lots of feedback, which is also just good manners. Throw in a "yeah baby right there" or "that feels amazing" or "can you pass me a Raisinet?" every once in a while. She'll feel less slighted with the auditory encouragement and you'll be able to focus on both yours and your wife's pleasure instead of your erection.

There are also cock rings, which constrict the flow of blood and allow for heightened sensitivity and longer hard-ons. You can get them pretty much anywhere, even at Hot Topic, though they might be marketed as "Marilyn Manson bracelets." Above all else, try not to police yourself. While it would be rather convenient if one could simply say "Seth, come hither!" (or whatever you've named it) and it would be so, we simply can't control every willy's nilly ways.